Practicing Gratitude
How might the world be if we fostered a grateful generation?
(Lomas, et al., 2014)
This week, I dove headfirst into gratitude. Honestly, it started with a belly flop. In the midst of juggling coursework, after-school schedules for three kids, and my part-time job, it was one more ball to add to a hailstorm coming down on me. However, it ended up being my saving grace during my lowest point of the week.
My practice began with a gratitude journal. The first few nights consisted of a few hastily scribbled notes on my phone before tossing it aside. Research suggests listing three things, as well as a “why?” for each item (Gohar, 2021). Over time I noticed that my practice began to grow. I dusted off an old notebook that was hiding under my bed and began elaborating on my thoughts. Then, I told my kids what I was doing. Soon they were adding items to the notebook, and our gratitude practice quickly gained reciprocal momentum.
A snippet from our family journal
On Thursday morning, it was a week into my practice. I was exhausted after a long day of school and work the day before, and I was facing another long day ahead. Nearly at my breaking point, I decided to open the journal and remind myself of all the things I had written down. There, at the top of the page, I noticed my 15 year old daughter had written in it for the first time. And I was at the top of her list.
Notes from my daughter (shared with permission)
It turns out the personal and relational benefits I experienced through this practice are consistent with research. Lomas et al. found that gratitude promotes pro-social characteristics that benefits relationships, increases general well-being, and even provides physical benefits like better sleep (2014). Furthermore, studies demonstrate that writing about gratitude actually changes the brain. After a few weeks of writing about gratitude, brain scans show an increased neural reward responses toward giving (Zwillich, 2018). This supports the powerful reciprocation that I experienced in my relationships. Involving the children strengthened our relationship, in addition to training my mind to be more grateful.
Another gratitude practice that I undertook was to write a letter of gratitude. This letter was delivered and read aloud to a person I held very dear but had never properly thanked. An emotional experience on both sides, my gratitude letter was welcomed with returned gratefulness, creating yet another reciprocal experience. Research demonstrates that writing and delivering a letter of gratitude provides a boost to to well-being that is more pronounced initially than the “Three Good Things” exercise, although tapering off as time goes on (Lomas et al.). While powerful, utilizing this exercise in my own life did not create the same habitual thinking as the “Three Good Things” that would promote long-term change.
In the end, I saw the difference that just a week of gratitude practice could make in my close relationships. Moving forward, writing down things that I’m grateful for on a daily basis would improve these benefits, as well as regularly expressing these things to others.
Thinking of starting your own gratitude practice? Check out Greater Good in Action for some great resources! And maybe take a quick listen to one of my kid’s favorite songs on gratitude below.
Grateful by Brotha James, a Michigan music artist known for inspirational kids music and programs (used with permission)
References:
Gohar, D. (2021, October 7). Cultivating gratitude for resilience [online lecture].
Lomas, T., Froh, J. J., Emmons, R. A., Mishra, A., & Bono, G. (2014). Gratitude interventions. The Wiley Blackwell handbook of positive psychological interventions, 1.
Zwillich, T. (Host). (2018, March 12). How gratitude benefits your brain (No. 7) [Audio podcast episode]. In The science of happiness. Greater Good Magazine. https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/podcasts/item/gratitude_benefits_your_brain
